Man, what a buzz kill | 23nd April 2011 | 15:45 PDT

Yeah, we're embracing and losing control to the music, man

After a gruelling session of sunbathing and juggling on the beach, I took a walk along the park to be confronted by a band just jamming in the sun, appropriately named “Under the Sky”

Until the police showed up and shut down their electrical equipment, as they were being too “loud” - they weren't, their singing was louder than their instruments, but apparently there's a law that you need a permit for playing electrical equipment in public, but acoustic is OK, so we got an even louder acoustic session being played out in front of us.

They're ideal for a lazy afternoon, great vibe and great entertainment. They play every Saturday during the summer between 2 and 5.

Composed: Palisades Park

Remind me again, why people do this? | 23nd April 2011 | 11:50 PDT

I've just done some exercise, by "just" I mean, after a 20 minute lie down basking in the sun with skin tears steaming from my pores, proving to myself how unfit I am and judging by today, I'm never going to run again, ever. In fact, anything strenuous as it's hard and the repercussions afterwards, just aren't worth it. I'm not even going to walk anywhere either, I'm going to get one of those fat tanks (mobility scooters) to haul my useless unfit arse everywhere.

It all started as I was told about this place by my house mate to aim in one directions and you'll come across it.

OK.

I headed out into suburbia towards a really quiet street, I knew I was kind of heading in the right direction as the amount of tight exercise outfits being seen on the streets was increasing as I got nearer to the epicentre.

The view from Adelaide Drive

On Adelaide Drive (which has multi-million dollar houses on it and a great view down a valley and down to the ocean) as I turned around a bend in the road, you get confronted with a street full of Lycra zombies, each one doing either strange movements (to, I guess, warm up/down) lifting weights, doing press ups but most walking slowly in a weird fashion towards this small gap in the hillside.

At that moment, I felt like I was on a suburban safari and I just stumbled on a watering hole by accident, I could say what animals these people were, definitely not human, perhaps flamingos, though keep fit zombie flamingos.

What I had stumbled upon were the Santa Monica stairs, 2 sets of steps that take you from the hill down into the valley and has been adopted by health freaks as their outside gym, there are two to choose from, a concrete set and a wooden set. It felt like the concrete set is where you started to work up the the wooden steps, as they're narrower, shallower, and had frequent stopping platforms along the way. Sod that, I thought and went straight to the wooden ones, which were busier, wider, steeper, and one place to rest there.

The stairs with a few trapped fitness zombies

It was kind of full on, going down was easy, it was like controlled falling, but going back up, or running back up, I should throw in there was quite gruelling and maybe going from no exercise to a full on run, didn't help, and probably should have worked up to it, I only managed 3 flights, in total consisting of 1050 steps. Which was nothing compared to the others there pounding up and down the steps like they had been doing it all their lives and it was their only form of exercise and got really good at it.

I'm off to shop for a mobility scooter and a stair lift.

Composed: 4th St & Adelaide Drive, Santa Monica

Sometimes, some things just have happen | 22nd April 2011 | 22:50 PDT

Well, it had to happen, really it did, sooner or later, it just definitely had to happen, there was way too much tension, pressure and nervous energy being built up, but it's out the way I can focus more clearly on tasks ahead, I can now walk down the street or work in public without giving myself whiplash or having one roving eye bouncing around my head looking around.

My boy Ducky, right here! (via laguiatv.com)

I've just, seen my first celebrity, well a celebrity I actually recognise, and most wouldn't. It was Ducky from NCIS or David McCallum as he probably prefers outside of his character (was also in The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and The Great Escape) he was just walking down the street, I noticed his voice first, sounding very educated English accent (though from Glasgow) and it took me completely off guard as I just popped out to get my Subway on (footlong chicken orchard salad if you're interested, with all the salad possible) and I wasn't even thinking about seeing celebrity at the time, crazy, crazy, crazy.

Composed: Back at the house, Santa Monica

I've acquired something lovely | 21st April 2011 | 10:55 PDT

Rafael? Purple? We don't give a shit, just buy our coffee!

I have a new name, thanks to the girl at Starbucks.

“Purple”

This came around as she wrote down my name super quick (After going, what the hell is a Rupert?) and the barista thought looked like Raphael then changed his mind to Purple. I panicked and just agreed with him... Least it's unusual and not Wayne Winchester.

Composed: Starbucks, Montana Avenue, Santa Monica

A Productive Day, Cleverly Hidden: Part II | 21st April 2011 | 00:45 PDT

Welcome to the underground world of art and performance

Upon my return to the house at 4:20, I got a text from my friend reminding me of this thing going down on Santa Monica Boulevard, it was a non-profit theatre project called “Consuming the Arts” at Lounge Theatre.

I got there after a 2 and a half hour bus ride across town, damn rush hour traffic. It was well worth it, there was free wine! Oh and some great acts consisting of:

Two short films, called “Franny the Elephant” and “Supermarket Superhero”. The latter being my favourite was set in a supermarket and this kid dressed as a superhero making all sorts hand gestures to stop cars etc. and helping others out around the store, it was a mixture of humorous stuff and that serious thoughtful stuff you get in a film, moral of the story? The former was a budget kids show and it was funny in places, I just lost track of what was going on and couldn't understand the voices half the time, so I was looking gormless through most of it, the girl next to me was loving it, whooping, clapping and was in absolute hysterics – must be a translation thing.

Like the stand up comedy guy, Matt Geiler – saw him before the show being super funny and probably typically him, but during the show I just didn't get it, he got half-naked and sang about poo (it was improv and it's what the people wanted to see) – and I'm not a fan of comedy and song being fused together anyway, probably because I exhausted that part of my brain listening to Weird Al Yankovic non-stop as a kid, again loads of people in the audience were laughing. I'm just a typical English grump.

Two plays, which were kind of serious for the mood of the evening so far, but I liked them both equally, both very well acted, one was about this girl who would write letters to people she loves, like Kurt Cobain, Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson, who all go on to die and reckons she's responsible for their demise, the second was about falling in love, it's ups and downs and moving on to take the next step after a big set back from a previous relationship.

Finally Music, that was live! By Jesse Thomas, my highlight of the night, great music that suited the mood brilliantly, songs about love/ex's possessions/break ups – she was funny in an honest scatty kind of way, that really didn't give a damn about you and that is kind of cool. Very LA though.

I think they're taking Consuming the Arts on the road around Los Angeles to help underprivileged children find an outlet for their situation and give them focus in life, by using as many mediums of art as possible to their disposal to help them. I like.

Composed: Back at the house, Santa Monica

A Productive Day, Cleverly Hidden: Part I | 20th April 2011 | 16:35 PDT

This has nothing to do with my day. Saying that though, I did cross a road

I got a lot of work done and had the most productive day I've ever had, I feel so clear and lifted from all of life's strains.

Is what I probably would be saying had I not decided to go to the pub at 11am to watch soccer/real football for a short while as I had work to do, this ended up with me talking to this retired businessman from a major record label, who had been on a Concorde and everything, that's pretty exciting added with his name dropping of people from the late 90s, really friendly guy and lived in London for 6 years and now currently Malibu.

I was at the quiet and chilled pub called the Britannia, as you can probably guess a British pub where the walls are littered with very British things, like Magner's Irish Cider, Guinness advertising and giant sail ships from the 1900s – sorry Scotland, you can take the guys drinking before noon, if you like?

I was recommended a better place to go to called The Olde Kings Head, so after my friend left, I headed over there to catch the end of another match. This place was dark, pitch black almost, like a true British pub during a game in summer.

That damn sunlight still made it through and when it did (like someone opening the door) everyone would look over to see what was going on then be temporarily blinded by their actions until their eyes would adjust to the light. This was funny, seeing many people all blinking simultaneously with their mouth open trying to get rid of the stars in their eyes and feeling around for their drink is something that has to be seen... or not as the case may be.

Composed: Back at the house, Santa Monica

Matt's Problem | 19th April 2011 | 18:05 PDT

It's gonna be OK, eh! (via detroitbadboys.com)

Overhead a guy on the phone:
“Yeah... Matt just found out he's Canadian... Yeah... He's devastated”

The sound bites I hear are genius, I always thought Grand Theft Auto games always over-exaggerated the whole thing, but it is just how it is over here... amazing!

Composed: Santa Monica State Beach Park