Thailand. Part V. | Feb 29th

Today was going to be a long day, thankfully most memories are hazy so it shouldn't be long to recollect.

It started out sensibly enough, with the need to explore off-foot, we found a taxi outside our resort who would turn out to be our own personal chauffeur for the whole day, I can't remember his name so I'll call him Lloyd McKenzie, he was extremely friendly and helpful.

Lloyd McKenzie drove us on the northern stretch of road passing villages, road-side shops, homes, jungle forest, avoiding various street furniture such as scooters, people and dogs to our first destination a Chinese Buddhist temple.

It was a very modern concrete heavy temple, that looks like it had just been freshly repainted set within the hills with a great view, and ignoring the fact that it didn't look overly aesthetic, it had a very quiet and serene atmosphere. Looking around the statues of the gods and admiring the Taoism used within the architecture, we left the temple.

Lloyd McKenzie took us to a village that we'd passed on the way there called Fisherman's Village, as the name suggests a village, with a lovely long bay beached area, with hills descending down into the horizon into the crystal clear water and a few fishing boats moored up on the beach front, this place was majorly unexpected and a chorus and repetition of 'wow' could be heard as we all grabbed our cameras to savour the scenary.

We went to a beach-front bar and relaxed lying down in its lounge area, while sipping on drinks we have probably the only ever conversation that's been had at that bar to the effects of 'surely it can't be that hard to open a bar here, on the beach, listening to awesome music, with cold beers. It would be awesome!' - it was about that point the power went out, it didn't deter us of our dream though.

Lloyd McKenzie drove us back to Smile Beach and some of us relaxed lying on the grass outside our rooms reading or sleeping and generally saving energy for the night ahead, the half moon party.

Time was getting long in the tooth and we an idea was planted that tonight's event required vests and fluorescent face paints, so the group stupidly sent off the two people to pick our vests for us, as a 'fun surprise'.

They returned with the look of naughty children, this wasn't going to be good, and instead of unveiling the vests there and then we decided to wait until later... Lots of tense moments passed as we got ready for the night and we all convened again for the big presentation ceremony.

They started off strong with bright 80s head and wristbands, but then it was instantly learnt that you don't sent off two buffoon douchebags to do the work of sane thinking people; they, of course, got themselves respectable vests with black and white obscure photography on it, another two had Rolling Stones lips and a fish or something and another two, were what could only be described as, shite. One said 'No Money, No Honey', another 'Sex Instructor, First lesson free'.

After mourning the death of giving a good idea to idiots, we sucked it up, got a few pop-band photos and went to the beach for nice relaxing meal to build up on stodge, I got the meal, but not the relaxing.

Due to the set up of the restaurant's tables on the beach, they seat everyone to look out on upon the water, but as there wasn't enough room on this particular table, someone would have to sit on the opposite side of the table with their back to the water facing everyone. That person was me.

I can cope looking at my friends for a duration of a meal, I don't find that too stressful, I do find being singled out by our waiter on the other hand, very unnerving.

His over-affectionate verbal nature of wanting to carry me to my room when I get drunk and his hands touching me with belly rubs and hugs, saw the smile from my face being wiped off as it was replaced blank friendly endurance to end this situation as soon as possible without violence.

In order for that to happen, he made a deal with me, he would give me a free large bottle of Chang beer if I downed it straight away or I would have to buy him two. I was hesitant at first, because I am rubbish at downing drinks, it's not something I can do, but peer-pressure saw me accept.

After a few minutes of blissful silence as he went off and got the beer, he quickly returned with the bottle and opened it up. I took in a deep breath as a stalling tactic while I prayed the ground would swallow him whole, I take the bottle and I slowly chug away and after what felt like hours of drinking this damn beer, I was done and I could finally relax.

Not so, as our waiter was over-enthusiast that I drank a whole beer, he felt it appropriate to be more over-affectionate than he was before. I was not in a good place at that moment.

The waiter eventually fucked off and the alcohol surged through my veins and I cheered up a little, as we met Lloyd McKenzie who drove us to the south of the island for the Halfmoon Party.


Arriving at 9, the place was empty.

Hm, that's a little crap, though for an all night event you don't want to get there too early, still gave us a good opportunity to look around; it was dark, but from what I can remember, the venue was set in a big open space within the jungle with a stage at one end, a dancing platform in the middle of the dance floor with a giant pole holding up a large canopy, opposite end of the stage was a large wooden structure that housed one of the many bars that looked over the main dance floor, in and around the main space were waterfalls, sitting areas, food stalls, paint shops, etc. etc. Also the whole place was lit by UV lights.

While it was empty we put on the fluorescent paint on our faces, representing our beings and self-awesomeness in our fuzzy drunken state and to be honest I can't remember seeing anyone enough to register their decals, I was like a douchey Hulk Hogan though, if that gives you any direction of mind imagery of what was going on.

Time passed and we left at 430am, what happened in between?
- One friend drank too much, too quickly and ended up having a good ol' sleep in a flower bed by around 11.
- So, two friends looked after him and nursed him as best as they could, leaving him for dead every-so-often enjoy dancing and the like.
- Another friend went into a manhunt mode, but hunting for girls with bear hugs, he randomly disappeared, only to be found later when we got back asleep in his bed.
- I was on the stage, hand pushing the air for pretty much the entirety of the event, occasionally being stopped by people giving me much love for my body paint.
- Our last remaining friend disappeared until 1030 the next morning, not knowing much of what happened in the last 12 hours.

At the end, a very welcomed Lloyd McKenzie was waiting outside with big grin and walked us to his taxi where we had a tranquil drive, like being in rally car during a race, back to the resort.

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