Deciphering scribbles | 25th June 2011 | 16:44 PDT

Returning with a mighty depressive crash into the Earth's surface from my amazing life-changing yada yada yada road trip (not helped with my leaving of Santa Monica in a few days) - I needed to move out of my room into the sunshine, keep moving - it wasn't as fast as a car but maybe something interesting will happen that will equally equal the road trip... It didn't happen, but as I was walking down Santa Monica Promenade amongst all the musically talented street performers, there was this one quiet musician off the main strip.

I walk over to him and he starts talking to me and with my sudden close proximity to him, the inspection I do with my eyes and not ears I realise, he had no instrument, ahhh that's probably why he was so quiet for musician! I read the big clear sign it says "Handwriting Analysis (Scientific!)"

I decide to do it. I knew he was legitimate as this Caucasian Texan was wearing a turban and held a shaft with a green "jewel" on it and he makes me sit down and tell me to write this passage "It is not because things are difficult that we don't dare; it is because we don't dare that things are difficult". He takes the paper away from me and starts rubbing it between his fingers flipping it over and over again, paying close attention to the reverse side before going "Aha!"

Yes, I would definitely trust this man with my life (

He continues "See here... you have good margins, your Ts are 7s and your Es are Ls with - in them... To me this means you are terrible at golf, you are a walking time bomb of a constant battle of creativity and logic, you're very astute with the world around you and are often right, but you always think in worst case scenarios and will be your demise, you sleep on the left side of the bed, your right leg is shorter than your left, you have issues with your 8th vertebrae, you hate advise but the main thing is... You're terrible at golf"

Well, I can't say fairer than that - I am pretty bad at golf - I gave him beer money before running off to the beach to practice my swing and prove him wrong the next time our paths cross.

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