Lock me up and throw away the key | 11th June 2011 | 17:32 PDT

After listening to the fantastic big band of musically improvised Venice Boardwalk Orchestra, there was only one place I really had to go after that. The Venice Freakshow, obviously!

What lies hither? Oh, probable what that sign says.
Upon my entrance up the stairs noticing the painted banners of the performers, infa to pay the guy and passing a couple two headed terrapins in a plastic container along the way, I was greeted to a lady (who really should have been bearded) holding on to a 5 legged dog, naturally... standing behind the counter amongst these glass tanks were the world's most fantastic oddities, like:

The 2 tailed iguana! ALIVE!!
The 5 legged tree frog! ALIVE!!
The 2 headed turtle! ALIVE!!

Along with shelves of weird deformed dead creatures in jars, cows, goats, ducks, pigs etc.

Looking elsewhere in the museum of freaks, was a bit about the history of the freakshow from early circus days, another cabinet containing shrunken heads from cannibals, rare South American animals, stingrays with legs and arms and a final cabinet with puffer fish and other dead sea weird things.

When I thought this was over (as I had just finished admiring, a 2 headed taxidermy goat, calf, 8-legged spider, 2 bodied mice and my personal favourite a 2 headed, 4 legged duckling(s) - a live show was about to start! Real  life freaks in the flesh, done in 3 acts.

"I'm always by your side!"
Elastic Woman - who bended a bit
Sword swallower - who ate a lot of metal, a bendy sword that moved his throat from left-to-right as it filtered down into his gut, 4 swords at once and another sword the length of his torso and hammered a nail into nose
Scotsman ... impervious to pain - drilled his nose, arm in a wolf trap, threaded dental floss through his skin and hung the wolf trap from it (it snapped), hung a 18lbs weight from his ears (takes 9lbs to break skin, it didn't break) and stapled money to himself.

Like being back in Edinburgh
But the fun wasn't over, the guests were also treated to a birthday party, it was the 2 headed bearded dragon's first birthday! We were involved with a piƱata of the dragon and a mariachi band playing in the background, great family spirit!

Awww, that's cute not freaky
After all that visual feast, I needed to lie down and promptly passed out on the beach... Oh, and Wolfboy was there, someone covered in hai, but Venice is full of bearded people, he didn't make much impact.

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