Need New Name, Need New News | 14th April 2011 | 12:12 PDT

Rupert? Rubert? We don't give a shit, just buy our coffee!

I have a very difficult decision to face as my name doesn't exist here, well it does but they've replaced 'P' with a 'B' and I wouldn't normally mind but the film Dirty Rotten Scoundrels has somewhat tainted the fine reputation American Rupert has... Luckily though I don't have to sigh and await abuse/obvious comments when I have to give my surname as the poncey cartoon bear from The Express newspaper as thankfully her can't swim across the pond.

I've had so many names over the years and as my brother calls me, Captain Identity Crisis Kid, I doubt that will change any time soon, perhaps 'Bear', being the symbol of California could be a winner. I'll no doubt panic next time someone asks for my name and blurt out a name called Wayne Winchester III, I'll see what works next time I am asked.

Californian flag and look, it has a bear.

So, the news here, as in the coverage of the new, and this is not uncommon knowledge, is that it is crap and just an extension of entertainment. From memory it has gotten worse since I was here last, a few examples being this news report on work hours – “Which Country Works More Hours Than Anyone Else”.

They only showed the top 3, in third place was somewhere like India. In second place was China. First place, was blanked out. I had to wait for the commercials to find out the answer...

“So, which country work longer and harder than anyone else in the world, it's not America, we didn't make it in the top ten. The hardest working nation that works harder than America and everyone else is... Mexico. They work harder than China, Japan and America. Back after these messages”

After those messages it got better, they've turned this informative entertainment into something interactive and fully customisable. One of their special features was the ability to text in what report you would like to see, obviously a new idea to this station as the selection wasn't important news, but still stuff they felt the need to record with the intention of broadcasting it on the news.

They showed the winner after an hour of voting with hard-hitting articles to choose from like:
Text A to hear about a homeless people's bake off, without a kitchen?
Text B to see a woman's entire collection of nasal hair
Text C to to watch a dog lick itself for 5 minutes

I hope it gets a good response, I like to see it be developed further into something like:
Text A to hear about the volcano at Yellowstone Park that is hours away from erupting
Text B to learn about the new virus that could wipe out California that's being dubbed “National Lampoons: Back to the Plague Part II, with a Vengeance”
Text C to have live footage of the axe murdering burglar, robbing your house right behind you.

Results in an hour.

Pen down and time to relax outside and listen to the busking blues player on the promenade

Composed: Starbucks, 3rd Street Promenade, Santa Monica

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