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| Why watch TV, when you have this on your doorstep? |
Health
Headache? Try Hedpirixitol 5+Infinity super-strength fast-acting full-on-synthetic-Chinese- shit plus! It may work before you even realise you've had a headache.
Warning, may cause death, dying, a bit of deceased and may result in being six feet under.
Cars
This is awesome!
This is manly!
This has leather!
It has real horses in each tyre!
It does 10 MPG on the highway!
It is cheap at a mega-dollar price!
It's the new sports sedan mini-van!
And it's American!
Toys
Teach your kids to be a success in life with this American football themed glow-in-the-dark sand!
Just put it in the supplied steel cauldron and microwave it until super-rad-awesome flames spew out everywhere, hand to your child to play in the yard by the pool and they'll learn, Math! Art! DIY! Taxes! Democracy! Baking! Child Care! And first aid!
Get this for your child NOW! Or they may end up failing any chances they may have in life to be a happy success!
Infomercial
Have depression? Don't worry we're here to help you by teaching you the ways of cheering up, being happy, smiling, getting on with it and stop being a whiny pussy loser. Call now for your free consultation!
Composed: Back at the house, Santa Monica
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