Communication With The Locals | 30th July 2011 | 20:32 PDT

If I can take a minute to be unashamedly offensive to every nice Canadian person I have ever met (Think of that first sentence as me saying "With all due respect, sir" - which obviously now gives me the right to say whatever I like, because I said "With all due respect" - remember that.

I've discovered when talking to a "Canadian" I need to apply this simple and easy equation to words, in order to have a pleasant conversation of any worth.

And funnily enough, it's not all about just replacing the sayings of certain words like:
  -  What's that all aboot
  -  With or withoot you by U2
  -  It's a blowoot sale!
  -  watch out for radiation falloot
  -  I'm stuck on this roundaboot, we don't have them in North America
  -  Off fishin' to catch some troot
  -  It's dark, must be a blackoot
  -  It's so bootiful ootdoors
  -  I'm going to walkaboot to find this writer and knock him oot for being so ootlandish and rude.
Because, that's just insulting.

It appears to communicate with these rare species and to have to fruitful conversation you have to swap all Ts in a word for Ds, exception to this rules are, if the word begins with a T or if the the original wording is spelt O U T:

This is a fruitful conversation (via

Advanced Tip! Speaking slowly helps as well, but not essentially necessary.

How about that trip from Toronto to Ottawa? I guess that's why they call it Sin City
Translates too:
How aboot thad trip from Torondo to Oddawa? I guess thad's why they call it Sin Cidy, eh

This tall latte from Blendz tastes like a tree trunk dunked in treacle, simply terrific
Translates too:
This tall ladde from Blendz tasdes like a tree trunk dunked in treacle, simply terrific, eh

I think the heritage of transformation infrastructure is subject to controversy due to the recent donation practices, there's simply not enough dedication to the less fortunate on the outside of society.
Translates too:
I think the heridage of transformadion infrasdrucdure is subjecd to condroversy due to the recend donadion pracdices, there's simply nod enough dedicadion to the less fordunate on the ootside of sociedy, eh.

Ad infinitum.

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