They're Free You Know | 21st July 2011 | 23:13 PDT

Walking through Denman Street, I was instantly reminded of my initial thought I had a few days back about what it was that Vancouver is meant to have learnt.

Basically, it is... How fucking rude people are here, as if manners or showing appreciation to another human's kindness will result you catching the Pica Disease. And this constantly happens to me, not one off experiences I'm talking about here, for instance...

And here we have a typical Vancouverite (via mockingwords.blogspot.com)

IF... I am travelling through a hole in a wall that is more often than not clogged up and guarded by this swinging mechanical device that is operated by hand, which you use to make the gap bigger or smaller to allow humans to pass through unscathed, let us call this device a "Door" - If I have successfully navigated safe passage through this "Door" and I see you, Vancouverite, behind me also wanting to seek safe passage through this temporary gap I have created with my bare hands, I will use all my power keeping this "Door" tamed and remain open for you to also get through safely. After that emotional ordeal, a "Thank You" or some help with the next door would be appreciated, right? Seems not. You instead, glide through the door without any verbal exchange, no friendly eye-contact or a smile, you usher yourself through like you're the president of the world and you're entitled to have "Doors" just opened for you and when the next gap challenge comes along, I think it would be courteous to return the favour instead of creating a small gap just for you to nip through and purposefully closing the door after you. Like I'm sort of untouchable peasant on the street that all I'm really good for is to be tarred and feathered for other's amusement.

I appeared to have been tarred and feathered, oh my! (via examiner.com)

IF... You are struggling with a big bulk object consisting of miscellaneous items and you're noticeably huffing and puffing with frustration at this difficult situation you have seemed to have gotten yourself into and I notice that you're not happy with dragging this cruise liner sized thingamajig and offer my services of extra arms, legs and energy to help you with your cause so you may have a slightly happier day. You, Vancouverite, have two options happily accept my offer for help and teamwork is created for the greater good, or you can happily decline my offer for help but feel better you don't have to feel alone in this situation, giving you extra strength from happiness to continue. Well, seems there's a third option. Don't in an inflated volume say "No" in a coarse unrefined scurrilous manner and look at me in way that's like I've dressed up like Luke Skywalker to a Star Trek convention, I've also got shit on my face and walking around on a freshly amputated leg.

NOOOO!! (via poculum.tumblr.com)

IF... I am currently situated within a box that moves vertically up and down within a structure, for shits and giggles lets call this crazy device of my imagination an "Elevator" - If the doors open, and I am in the state of motion towards the door, as I want to exit this "Elevator" and you, Vancouverite, are awaiting outside wanting to get in, do you think maybe it would be wise to allow me to continue my flow of exiting first to make room for you within this box? Appears not. You instead block my path with your hasty entry only to stand by the door unaware of my presence. When I ask you to move out the way, I'm greeted with a brilliant and friendly tut and sigh, like I'm the world's biggest asshole that's just cut the cheese and you still don't move allowing me to try and negotiate my way around you.

You shall not pass asshole (via gorillafilmmagazine.com)

For a city where everything costs a lot and manners being free, people would use them more.

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