Villa in Vancouver | 24th July 2011 | 18:03 PDT

Home... Swell... Home

I've been here for 3 weeks, so may as well display my room – well, not my actual room as I'm still deciding how best to lay out all the unusual furniture I've been given, including single bed, a wide sofa/double bed, a very tall study desk and a very large and low bedside table fit for a banquet.

So, I've been trying out Feng Shui to see if will help direct where my bed should be, then at least everything else can just fit around it.

Turns out, it is really not that simple, first you have to adhere to all these rules, like negative energy flows, normally from doors and mirrors, your bed has to be at right angles to them, no technology like computers or a TV a bedroom should be for sleeping only, depending on your Kua number depends on your lucky positions as well as all these other things.

It all starts to feel like a labour intensive high-stake game of Tetris, if you get it wrong, you will internally die and become this energyless void walking zombie amongst all these happy go lucky humans that understood Feng Shui, these happy people probably laugh at you and poke you with sticks for being “different”

Still, I got a lovely view from the balcony to make up for it and I'm only 5 minutes walk from a beach, 10 from Downtown and within 3 minutes I can eat food from anywhere in the world, as long as it's Greek, Middle Eastern or Asian.

Buildings and trees

More buildings and less trees

It's surprisingly hard to escape – but as it lacks views over English Bay there's always a reason to leave.

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