Where everybody knows my name | 11th June 2011 | 18:11 PDT

Hopping on the Skytrain from Downtown, looking for somewhere to visit I notice a place I should immediately visit before anywhere else and being the conceited, narcissistic, self-absorbed, self-centered, vain person I am, naturally this place is Rupert on Rupert Street

It's like being famous and having your name up in lights

What I great town, it's not ugly or dull looking as luckily I happen to love big faceless shopping warehouses and super-suburban scenery, it's what makes Rupert Town unique and simply super! I skip out the station and I turn right and walk off up a hill into the (f)unknown.

It's actually very green once you leave the station area, 20 minutes walk down Rupert Street, I grab a drink of RupeBull (like RedBull but better) from the Rupert Town Pantry which is no way just a Chevron petrol station, it's a pantry! I am then greeted with Rupert Park, with a large expanse of green, children's playground, a view over Burnaby and beyond. It's also home to Rupert Park's Pitch and Putt!

Tiger Woods has got NOTHING on me!

Now, I hate golf, it's a boring, slow, elaborate game of "chase the ball" for adults and I'm not very good at it. But hey, hang on now, I'm in Rupert Town, everything's simply smashing her. I bite the bullet for the sake of my namesake place, I pay my money and grab some clubs and get on with enjoying the joy it has to offer.

As time was a constraint as I still have so many wonderful things to enjoy about this great and marvellous town, I play Prompt and Putt, where you line up your shot and smack the ball (no test swings) and run after the ball, before it has a chance to settle in the grass, you line up and smack it, until you've done 18 holes, totalling 1235 yards in about 45 minutes and only 28 over par, which thankfully being Rupert Town was the perfect score to be totally awesome at golf and I now love with this fantastic brilliant sport.

I turn back on myself and experience more of Rupert Street, I see a park called Sunrise Park, which provides a brilliant vista over north and east Vancouver, with all it's inspiring highrises and sprawl with dull stupid mountains in the background.

Trees playing in the park

(Turning sarcasm off for a moment) I notice a small shack of a shop on the corner of Rupert Street and East Broadway called SushiHolic, cheesy name aside, this is an incredibly amazing gem to have found, very friendly service, reasonably priced and extremely delicious food, probably the bestest freshest sushi, I have ever had the pleasure of polishing off. This is very much worth me going out my way for to devour more.

Reinvigorated, I stop off into Trail Appliances at Rupert Square to look at amazing things, like fridges!! and ovens!! then, I go off piste and stumble upon the Vancouver Film Studios to look the amazing Canadian creations being put onto celluloid and I was a fence width away from being in my first major blockbuster, but I was greeted with the amazing view of nothing going on - I instead, head up Boundary Road, where I get talking to a bank security guard who offers to give me a set of golf clubs for free, just because. I notice as I was talking to the guy, a Starbucks and a warehouse called Charlie's Chocolate Factory.

See! Not one bastard factory!!

I enter this sweet-tooth's paradise to be greeted with not one single factory or chocolate making process, but instead a massive amount of shelves stacked with chocolates and sweets with a central island of handmade bite-sized chocolates - I buy a few and pop into Starbucks.

I walk to Falaise Park and sit on a bench to drink my latte, slowly eating these expensive supersupersuper-sweet chocolates, overlooking parts of Downtown peeping over trees but more importantly proudly surveying this great land and admiring the pure brilliant brilliance that Rupert is (and Rupert Street).

Tree's dinner time and they had to go home.

Thanks Rupert for supplying Rupert a marvellous day out.

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