Go Away Creepy Weirdo | 19th August 2011 | 16:54 PDT

I was curious about the future developments of Vancouver so I drifted off course from my usual route around False Creek to have a look at Concord Pacific's (a construction company) temporary offices/sales room to show how great they are.

This is probably the best museum about Vancouver it had everything to keep me occupied, accurately created model buildings of highrises, before and after shots of Vancouver through the years and a tiny version of the city IN THE FUTURE! - no flying cars or regenerated dinosaurs though.

Vancouver of the future (via theresidentarchitect.com)

There was another curious guy there, being it's just us two in there would be rude to ignore him especially as he made one of those open comments like “Have you seen this?” and point wildly around the room.

I wasn't in a people-loving mood that day, but could cope with one of those casual chats with a stranger and happy to endure talking to him about himself for a few moments, then make my excuses to leave and going off to do something more productive like leaning on a wall in a black leather jacket... It was just one of those days.

To be fair he was quite interesting to talk to and had a varied life, this guy was there as he also took an interest in buildings as he studied architecture but ended up working in the police force in the Philippines, now retired at 40-something and a few pensions under his belt, he spends his time making people like me look bad as he was one of those "Outdoorsy-I'm-One-With-Nature" types, scaling mountains by jumping to the top, scuba dives without any equipment, and runs a marathon every morning carrying a 300lbs of weight, Oh, and he's writing an autobiography about himself. Pfft, whatever, autobiographies are for dickheads!

Fuck off you smiling outdoors twat, bet you got a shitty autobiography in "the works" too

Right time for you to go, you're giving off weird vibes and I don't feel comfortable with you being around me, "Nice meeting you, goodbye!"

Oh, you appear to still be here, walking to your car you say, and it's in this direction? Wonderful, simply wonderful! So, I spent another 50 minutes with this guy, going on undercover operations, snow and trees or whatever ex-police now-outdoorsy bored people do with their time, it was now time for him to go... You're still here, why are you here? I've said goodbye to you like 6 times already!

"Have you been to blah blah blah?"
"No, not been to blah blah blah, bit far away and I'm limited to public transport, so it's a day event"
"I have a car, I can take you there."
"That's very kind, but today, I'm just strolling around in the sunshine, relaxing"
"I have a convertible, enjoy the sunshine in that"
"No, I'm good thanks, very kind of you though"
"That's OK, anywhere else far away, you'd like to be dropped off?"
"No thanks, I'm really fine"

Conversation ends, I'm free! I walk off along the path and under the Cambie Bridge, passing a small inlet road to the creek. I hear this tooting.

I, of course, ignore it because only egotistical people acknowledge the noise of a car's horn, and it carries on, so I look around as I thought there could be some awesome road rage about to be unleashed. Nope, it was that guy, in his convertible with his roof down roaring down the road, smiling with his huge mouth that was like a basking shark went to a Hollywood dentist that week.

Road rage as it's awesomeness (via manicmashup.blogspot.com)

"Look, it's a convertible, see?"
"Yes, I can see"
  -  I also know that, you had a 2 minute walk to your car, the drive here is 4 minutes away, the roof takes a minute to come down on that car. I've only been walking for 3 minutes at that point.

"Sure you don't a lift?"
  -  Fuck off, my mother always told me to say no to strangers
"No, I'm really fine, but thanks – have a good day!"

And he went.
And I was relieved.

Awful though still on reflection, this isn't as bad as a middle-aged fat man with a big white beard, who very kindly offered to take me out on the town, show me around a few night clubs where “the kids hang out” then afterwards show me his big rig (truck... or otherwise). He was being charitable with his time as he was bored, as his wife is currently in Thailand “on holiday”. Which I read as, current highest bidder with 3 days to go.

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