Urban Hike | 17th August 2011 | 19:22 PDT

I'm currently dead on my feet looking out the window of my bedroom thinking “Why the hell am I so hungry?” before resulting “Ah, must have something to do with that I walked 16 MILES today, with just a lunch of water” This bit really has nothing to do with my day, except that I walked around, my sole purpose for its existence is so I could brag about my mad extreme walking skills.

I'll allow you few moments to absorb my greatness in my ability to walk.

Thanks. (via xgarcia.blogspot.com)

So today, I travelled over to the other side to the North Shore AKA populated wilderness. It is, as the name might suggest, north of Vancouver and you get there via a shore, the name normally throws off tourist thinking that's all there is they'd be wrong. As I went there, saw with my own eyes and walked around a (long) bit... I don't know if I told you about that already.

Getting various transit systems over blah blah blah... I'm at Lynn Canyon Park! Seeing things like trees, wooden stairs, trees, walkways made from wood, trees, nature centre made from timber, trees, birds eating stumps, trees and a river with people clambering all over the rocks, and kids diving off into a small 30ft deep lake. It was very busy, but it didn't take long to find yourself alone and away from all “that lot” Which I thought was surprising as the park is quite small, I walked around its entirety in about 50 minutes.

Pretty much my whole day right there

My main reason for visiting here was because it's free and it has a suspension bridge, which I was always commonly led to believe was made of vines and wood, this is not true, turns out the tribes living in forests had access to steel and the ability to turn it into wire strand cables, incredible!

Had great fun scaring them by jumping up and down on this old rickety thing

Things were good, I was happily exploring outside the tree infested area until these two big bulky burly bastard Boeing bluebottle flies, boomed all over any which way around me and would not go away and I was finding them really annoying, so I did what was normal in this situation. I did the Bye-Bye-Bug song and dance, I waved my arms in the air and span around in circles while singing “Just fuck off nature” - all to the amusement to passing walkers.

Instantly hating the park and got to work mentally penning a letter to the local council to turn that bit of Vancouver into a car park, I wandered into suburbia, which was lovely area, surrounded by a few more trees set in the mountain, houses made of wood with no view or sunlight thanks to the trees and old cars that run on bark or whatever shit they use over in the sticks... I wouldn't be surprised if they burn witches for using petrol in their cars... anyway, the point... it was miles from anywhere and made for a perfect getaway setting to relax after a long day's work.

I felt at peace here, like if you lived in a horror movie, what helped my reassurance that I wasn't in a film and swapping that for cold harsh reality were the signs saying “Caution Bear In Area”, for my own safety I swiftly walked to the shore.

Well, I can take on one bear, but two bears, I'm not sure. (via bikininerd.typepad.com)

There, I was greeted with a magnificent view overlooking Vancouver's Downtown and a small market, with a huge variety of shops, stalls, eateries and it made from a nice calm experience compared to the hectic Granville Island market. I left with an ice cream to walk through an industrial purgatory full of cranes and box malls that is in a state of transition of being turned into a residential flats and coffee shops.

I get to the Lionsgate Bridge and greeted with a magnificent vista of English Bay one side and then Downtown and North Shore the other side, this will take me back through Stanley Park which is essentially another festival of wood blah blah blah, I'm home.

Thaa Vvoo

In summary then: Trees.

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