Usual Perilous Journey Home | 15th August 2011 | 02:12 PDT

Another great evening with friends and craziness in the memory banks and now all I have to do is try and get home, which doesn't come without its dangers.

It's dark. Darker than it should be considering there's a full moon up above me, but unfortunately that's being obscured by highrises and there are man-made light coming from the street lamps but they're being blocked out by the tall leafy summertime trees. It's also night time, which adds to the majority of the darkness that surrounds me, It really feels like I'm stuck in the black nothingness of the Earth's shadow.

It was about this dark.

But, it's not that dark that I don't know where the safe-zones are on the street, things like sidewalks and when those sidewalks end and I have to cross the road, I can look both ways before I do so, not that there are any vehicles I should really be weary about, because it's early Monday morning and most people of involved in any paid vocation will be sleeping.

A safe journey by all accounts.

This doesn't feel right. Something is up. There's a tone of unbalance in the air. That sense of something lurking in the shadows of the shadow I'm travelling in. I have no option but to carry on my path and face anything that might be waiting for me head on.

Stepping cautiously, darting my eyes left then right, quickly analysing objects in my vision, car, path, bush, tree, lamp, sign, path, shop, house, lamp, chair, table, pothole, grass, bush car, sign, car, building, bbq, balcony, car, fence, bin, bike, car, sign, sidewalk, road, sign, house...

I'm so close to home I can see it, but there's a section of path coming up imminently which is the narrowest part of my journey, there are bushes either side not leaving much room for escape so I tread on further on with caution, car, bush, door, fence, sign, bush, shop, car, bush, tree, lamp, bush, house, balcony, bush, bbq, bush, bike, bush, bush, bush – these bushes are making noises, both of them... shit.

BOOsh! (via

Just my luck, I'm at the narrowest part and both bushes surrounding me are making noises, what the hell is going on here? The noises stop as I do, I peer into the bush on my left without getting too close and couldn't see anything and as I look away to look into the bush on my right, a huge rumble of leaves as this thing roars out from the bush's underbelly, I shouted out “Fuck, it's fucking great big fuck off dragon!” as a small disturbed bird flies off into the distance.

Fucking great big fuck off dragon! (via

I hear some clumsy rustling within the bushes as my vocal disruption to the area around me spooked whatever was being contained in the bush on my right, I continue along my way, I advance a few steps and I notice there's a thing next to me making the same advancement I am. I look down slowly as this thing walking beside me is slowly looking up, “Oh crap, a skunk” as it thought “Oh crap, a bigger-than-me”.

Now, our objectives here are the same in this situation, all we had to do is make a mental truce and to get through this narrow section together so we be on our merry way without causing each other harm, not to be killed (in the skunk's eyes) and not to get sprayed (in my eye's) – mine being a far worse outcome should things go awry.

Keep your eyes on me now, y'hear (via

I walked as close as I could to the bush that housed the dragon earlier, while the skunk huddled close to a wall, it felt like we were two spies up against the edge, trying not to make any sudden movements so not to spook one another and set of any alarms.

Thankfully we can both see the end is nigh but tension is rising, you could cut the strain being put upon our new friendship with a spoon.

We didn't lose eye contact with one another, just in case that broke our new found trust. Each step we took was done slowly, I'd take one, it would take a few to catch up, this repeated for what seemed like hours.

Finally, as the wall the skunk was huddled up against gave way to a gap and it scurried off into the darkness – “Goodbye skunk” I say as I let out a huge sigh of relief.

I continue my walk home annoyed, annoyed that he didn't say goodbye back, especially after we shared that special bonding experience – maybe when I see him next and he'll get me a gift to say sorry.

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