Victoria: Day One | 28th August 2011 | 22:58 PDT

We're skimming atop of the waves as there's a sound of an extremely loud cold bird that has all its cylinders firing at full pelt, edging closer and closer towards the Lionsgate bridge, this is my first trip in a seaplane and I'm pretty much sure that it will be over in a few seconds as we smash into the side of the suspension bridge.

Avoiding it by a few feet, I wipe the sweat from my eyes (tears) and now soaring above an incredible scenery, from Downtown Vancouver, heading over Vancouver International Airport as planes are taking off, over the Georgia Strait as cruise ships are trundling along, over pockets of islands and marinas as sail boats negotiate the rugged weather beaten coasts, over miles of forest, mountains of west Vancouver Island. The the water, buildings, boats, people getting larger and larger as we land into Victoria Harbour.

Missed it by inches (albeit, many)

Well, the weather's nice which I thought was impossible on this island as everyday up until the last few days it had been a bummer summer, but there's something more unusual about this place, it's all too familiar... we've appeared to have missed Victoria and landed in Cornwall.

Nothing like Cornwall this picture, just a pretty journey over

It's no real surprise really, given it's long history and influence from the British Empire. It originally starting life as a trading post and fort in 1843, that was created in with the outlook of the Oregon boundary dispute in mind. When gold was discovered on the mainland, Victoria became a thriving port and supply base for miners, when the gold rush concluded, Port Victoria moved into the opium trade until it's ban in the early 1900s – during this time the growth of the city stumbled a bit when the Canadian Pacific Railway built its terminus station in Vancouver, but not enough to stop a steady growth as being a capital with temperate climate has been more than enough to bring in people. It's rich history has also left many interesting (mainly Edwardian) buildings along the way to add to the city's character.

Think it's city hall, whatever it is, it's old

Passing through the town with my blinkers on, to get to my dire room with no windows at the hostel, that's also full of the most idiotic people I have ever met, I quickly leave my hippie prison and aim for any restaurant overlooking the harbour to watch the sun go down.

White hole of the sky

Ordering a small sandwich and fries, though looking at the plate when it arrived, it appeared to be meant for six African nations. I was accosted by this guy from Calgary who was out celebrating his friend's birthday and said I should join along, “Brilliant, people!” I thought.

Introducing myself to the Calgary party, there was a token girl and immigrant from England “Hello, ex-Englander” and everything from then was going well, much laughing, much story telling, everyone was in high spirits and telling me about their drunken adventures the night before where they drunkenly ordered a prostitute instead of a stripper and the embarrassing hilarity that followed. Things were good, I was being accepted as “their own”

Relaxing a little and letting my brain control my mouth without too much censorship, resulting in me blurting out some witty comment to a joke, something to do with brave raccoons, pak choi and polish zincite, probably, the guys from Calgary laughed but the English girl didn't and seemed very pissed off about the whole thing.

That very moment, I was in a Roman coliseum and my fate was being decided by either an invisible thumbs up or down of the mind. Now, seeing as she was the only girl there, what she says goes regardless, whether everyone else likes them or not – she was the princess unicorn of proceedings.

Dickhead. (via

I got sent to my death and took it amicable, knowing I had failed hard and fast, I finished my closing gift of wine and left with my head low and went back to my holeless box of a bedroom to think about what I'd done

...brainless British bitch, how can you not recognise that polish zincite is funny?

Fucking hilarious! (via

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