Heart Attack (in a bowl) | 20th August 2011 | 19:41 PDT

“You have to try it!!”
“Eh? Who are you?!”
“It tastes so good!!”
“What does 'good' taste like exactly?”
“It's like a heart-attack in a bowl!!”
“I love heart-attacks in a bowl! – that's like my favourite thing!!”
“You will love it!!”
“Ok, I'll try it!!” and I rushed to the best place in Vancouver for such a thing, to go and have my heart failure.

This thing in question? Poutine.

It's a 1950s Quebecois invention, a dish consisting of fries, gravy and cheese curds (with additional meat if you choose). The word poutine is meant to have come from England as a derivative of pudding or someone looking like a pudding, which is where I guess its reputation for a heart-attack in bowl comes from.

Puketine, more like!

If your reaction was anything like mine, you're probably thinking “Fries? - I love fries! Gravy? - I love gravy! Cheese curds? - What the fuck is that? That sounds vile, I'm so outraged by the very thought of cheese curds running through my brain that I'd rather drive my car off a cliff than have anything called cheese curds come near me!”

I pressed on and avoided driving to the restaurant, La Belle Patate where I ordered and quickly began digging my grubby fingers into this vegetarian Montreal-mess – it was ah-mah-zing, so good! Handmade fries that were done to perfection and you'd replace your hair for, gravy so good that you'd quite happily replace all your clothing for and cheese curds (that were like tiny bits of squeaky mozzarella) that I'd happily wear as skin for my entire future.

Best of all, it didn't feel like my blood-pumper was going to tick its final tock at any point – which means I won't feel guilty for coming back here, often. To make things better La Belle Patate resides on top of a hill, so I can roll down afterwards when I've eaten far too many bowls in one sitting.

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