Balls to that | 7th May 2011 | 19:45 PDT

So, there I was on Palisades Park having an absolutely nightmare with juggling my 3 balls as the sun was going down and these guys come up, right.

These dudes were a couple of violent blood thirsty gang members from the Eastside and there were two of them I felt totally surrounded as a palm tree was also in the act of inducing terror and moved right behind me, they were all like...

It felt like me, above. Versus... (via

Them! (

"Eh, homes you getting your juggling on, that's pretty sweet"
and I was like
"Yeah man, I'm like am totally getting my juggling on"
and he was all like
"Shit, dude, I can only juggle two balls"
and I was like
"No way, it took me ages to learn how to juggle, if you can two you're half way there to become a success, aight"
I hand him my balls and he juggles away
"See, I'm terrible"
I had him on my side and I didn't want to cause any issues, cause like this dude totally stank at juggling, so I was all like
"No man, that's like totally rad, you're almost there"
I take the balls back to show off a bit more
"So, like homes are you from, like Australia!?"
Internally, I lost it, no I'm not fucking Australian, I'd rather be Austrian in the 1930s than be an Australian now.
"No, London"
and just as my internal rage was about to become external and open a can of whoop ass on these couple of cholos, I fumbled to catch one of my balls and smacked myself in the groin, falling to the floor and dropping my 5 balls.

They left laughing (might also be worth noting that, they were kids getting their seaside paddling on while the weekend was young not tattooed up gang-bangers looking for someone to kill)
I could've felt embarrassed but I know deep down inside they were inches away from being thrown over the bluff on to Pacific Coast Highway.

Note to self: Don't learn to juggle with guns or fire in case of similar incident

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