Making new friends is difficult | 30th May 2011 | 22:22 PDT

Bank holiday Monday! Which means the world is a lot busier than usual, and like half of Los Angeles, hit the beach and I decided to work off some alcohol and run to Venice, half way en route I received a text from a random number.

"hey bee, wanna grab dinner tonight?"
  -  Now, I know this was a wrong number because, I only know 5 people in LA and I have all their numbers and also that my name's not Bee.
  -  I also thought that maybe this could be a new friend who wanted to go out and play and who has decided to stop stalking me and wanted to reach out but, this time from behind the bushes and binoculars and he/she prematurely gave me a pet name, ahhh.

You're in there somewhere (via

"Hello there! Sorry if this is rude but for some reason, I don't have your number in my phone book - who's this?"
 -  I sent this because I didn't know her and wanted to know their name.

"I'm so sad. It's Joanna"
  -  My initial thought... Phew, a girl
  -  My next thought... Who the fuck is Joanna? I don't know any Joannas on this continent.
  -  My later thought after rereading the text, I interpretted the text as 'I'm so sad, you don't know me, I stole your number when you typed it in at Pavilions for that discounted offer on laxatives'

I eventually decided, this is the wrong number and did the mature thing and replied...

"Oh, hello! I'm game for dinner, you had anywhere in mind?"

Many many many many many many minutes passed.

Tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock (via

"who is this?"

"I'm Rupert. Are you texting random numbers by any chance? :)"
  -  The smiley face to diffuse the fact she messed up and doesn't know what her friend's number is from a phone book and she's just text some weird creepy guy.

"sorry, I got wrong number"

putting grammar aside I replied...

"Haha. No worries! Have a good weekend"

What a rude bitch, I didn't get a reply to that! She has the audacity to invade my personal mobile space and make plans with me and then changes her mind! And worst of all, doesn't have the decent nature to text "have a good weekend also" or a quick "you too!" - attitide like that, makes me disgusted with the human race.

This is the beginning of the end people, World War III in Mad Max was based on things less than this.

and I will always carry a crocodile around with me, from now on (via

1 comment:

Danielle said...

Haha, I did this once when I got a wrong number in London in January. I was like "where are you" and they're like "Kensington" and I was like "what a coincidence! Wanna hang out?". It really freaks people out.