Vegas: Part II | 3rd May 2011 | 14:40 PDT

Friday - 29th April

8am, I was awoken with a beer after minimal sleep (I didn't drink it as I thought I was driving that day and didn't want to be done for DUI - which turned out pointless as I didn't drive that day...)
We headed over to an outlet mall, where a footlong subway was promptly purchased and used to smash the living soul of any encroaching hangover and we trawled around the shops.

Probably the best breakfast a boy could wish for

After shopping, it was time to rebuild our testosterone levels, how? By firing off a few rounds at the gun range, that's how!

We got to the Gun Store and greeted with a girl handing out menus of firearms for us to choose from, about 45 in all, a mixture of machine guns, handguns, semi-auto rifles. I looked at this menu blankly, kind of how a dog tilts its head when it's not sure what the hell is going on, I had no idea as I have no idea about guns, to me they're big bits of metal with numbers attached to them and my only experience with a gun is via YouTube videos.

After much deliberation, I picked what looked like decent guns, a Ruger MKIII handgun and a AR15 semi-auto rifle. My second choice was fine, but my first was met with some criticism.

"That handgun you chose is something we offer within our kids range, you know that right?"
  -  Now, in my defence I was going by numbers this Ruger MKIII had a 22 after it, whereas other handguns had 9 and I thought everything was done in millimetres and therefore being a bloke bigger is better. The guns positioning didn't help either being placed right next to a Desert Eagle (which I knew was awesome from a video on YouTube) and a Dirty Harry AKA Smith & Wesson .44 Magnum - which I knew was awesome from the TV show "Sledgehammer")

"No, I didn't know that was from the kids menu, erm... erm..."
  -  Drop of sweat from panic
"I'll fire a Dirty Harry, then"

"Oh, OK, are you sure?"
"Have you ever fired a gun before?"
"Can't wait to watch this then"

  -  Drop of pee from fear
  -  Big gulp

We queued up for about an hour and a half, each 60 seconds going by being mentally filled with images of a broken nose and a barrel burn mark creating a vertical equator on my face, as well as plenty of blood, ambulances and perhaps a wry bullet going somewhere it shouldn't.

Thankfully (?) I was first to go up and a few blasts on my newly acquired hand-cannon and the only trouble I had was how to hold it, this felt reassuring for everyone in the vicinity (Apparently put your thumb "on top of" means "next to" in Nevada)

I loved it! After I fired off the first shot and knew I could deal with it and the recoil, I had a blast killing paper terrorists, the thing that made it special for me and completed the experience was seeing flames coming out the end of the barrel... Yee-haw!

I can only imagine this is how I looked firing the Dirty Harry (via

Next up was the rifle or something, I less excited about this as I had no idea what it was and no fearing reputation attached to it (maybe to others in front of the gun may feel a little different) to me this gun was a piece of car, melted to look like a thick walking stick held between my shoulder and arms with a scope on it, which was useless due to visionary difficulties at birth, couldn't see out of it

I was really pleased with my shots, grouping and that I hit the paper every time but this was nothing compared to my mate shooting off paper bin Laden's moustache off.

Night was drinking and gambling fun!

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